Child of a broken dream

There is nothing in me

deep or true,
I am dead.
There is a body

walking out of sight

There is a tree,
There is bus, there is this house
and there is me.

Dim and shallow,
lost and hollow,
is the man who walks alone.

Home, home
is his only cry,

a place to belong
is his only sigh.

I would set him free
I would set him free
Oh! child of a broken dream,
There is hope, there is death.....

One with Good and One with Bad

Off I went to find my dream,
on to the land of the loosing Sun.

Me and the evil one,
together we hoped to change the world.

So off we sailed through the flimsy seas
And on to the land of ailing dreams.
To find my lost, broken dream.

Me and the evil one,
we passed the Eden green,
to reach His gates to beseech

Tired and tried, we thought of rest
So at the heavens door, we stuck the tents.

The devil yawned and bade me night.
While I sang to the creeping night,
a song of peace, a song of rest.

There we lay, hoping..
For a better tomorrow...
where the evil bids the good
better days and an unending peace...

I miss 'Me'

Dad works in the Press(printing press, I mean). He leaves early as he has to cycle a long way for his work. I ask mom, why is dad always so angry? Why is he always so rough with me? Why can’t he laugh with me like other kids dad’s do? Mom says, your dad works really hard and so when he comes back from work he has no strength left. But mommy other’s dad also work, they are all nice to their kids.

Last Sunday while going to the church, I fell and there was dad walking towards me. I thought he will pick me up, and yes he did too. He pulled me up and slapped me hard on my cheeks. I couldn’t cry as there were many people around, his hand left a mark and it was still stinging when the worship started. I couldn’t stand the noise but I still stayed on to watch the guy on the guitar. Restless!! I soon slipped out of the church. I ran to the hill close to the church. I went there every Sunday, during the church service and came down before the service got over. Usually I would run around, catch dragonflies and frogs from the well. However, today I was hurt and I wanted to cry. I was angry, I felt insulted....I called dad names, cried, I even asked Yeshu apacha to kill daddy.

I have no friends, only acquaintances. People assume that they know me, whereas I don't care. I was just fourteen madly in love with my cousin.We loved and lived happy, in our own sweet world. I thought that was it, I have my heaven and we would live happily forever...I wrote her name on my arms...We were lovers, we had names. I was possessed, there was no escape....the love still lives on, the scar refuses to fade. I still have the paper clipping it says, 'Youth attempts suicide'.

I"m dead now, I miss "Me."

Another day!!

Its just another day for me, another boring, sulky day with nothing great to look forward to. Now now there you go..calling me Whiner...am not..it just that the things along with the Sapiens around me are dull. Well, I can't just blame them alone for it..certainly the weather and the place has a lot to contribute- in the making of this infernal hell. Only a backward retarded mind with its dark morbid sense of humour would think of calling this place- God's own CUNTry....
Woh....don't be mad at me..am just expressing my inner thoughts...Right to Speech...remember!!

You would wonder what am I doing here then. You see sometimes life gives you no choice and if you know a bit of swear words..then it's easy to stay alive.Thus Spake Calvin!!!

On the 18 of June, on a damnable hour, a son was born. The firstborn of a diaspora, wrongly placed mallus, he was the child of the wilderness.With an ever growing restless, he crawled, and mauled his steps towards the never ending freeway of life.....He knows and understands that there is actually no purpose in life...if only he had a choice??To be born, never would have appeared on his list...

Now, one time or the other you surely must have come across people like me...yes, we are the pessimists, who always fail to see the brighter side of life..hooohaaa...anyways..going to back to my life story, if my grandma is to be trusted then according to her, I was the ugliest piece of trash that she had ever come across...now don't you make that face...ugly isn't that bad..I love being ugly and bad...a lot can be gained from grotesqueness then the so called beauty in the world.....hoooohaaaa....
That is what she told me when I was a boy....I was just twelve when my daddy threw that glass vase at me, I ducked and the vase was mere shreds of broken glass. Like Calvin , the all knowing genius; I think the grown ups are buffoons and theirs lives, a bluff. Daddy loved mummy, he adored her; but that was before they got married and had us. Mom complains that he is not the same anymore, she thinks he is cheating on her. Daddy comes in late and mom now sleeps with us...
It's Chikoo's birthday, my lil sister would be 4 today, we are all waiting for daddy and I pray to Jesus to send daddy home soon. I tell Jesus also to remind daddy to get Chikoo, the doll he promised. Mom always said that if you pray sincerely then surely God would hear your requests. So I go to my room and on my knees I pray to God. I try to cry, because mom always does so when she is praying, but I couldn't.....

Mom won't believe me, when I told her that I had prayed sincerely, instead she said I must pray harder. Dad didn't turn up for the party and mom went to bed without food. That night, I cried and I called God-a lier.